Fast Fiction

I had some errands to run. Well, really just one: to Target. I waited for a lull in the rain. And it looked downright hospitable outside - temperature 60 degrees. I didn’t even take my umbrella.

Because I had a plan.

I was cocky because I thought I was clever enough to thwart the whole, “what if it starts raining again while you’re in the store?”

I was going to buy an umbrella.

I know. Me, buying an umbrella.

I thought, wouldn’t it be nice to arrive at the office dry?

First of all, Target was not cooperating in the most basic way. Their cart escalator (in Eagle Rock) was out of commission. And only one elevator was working. Normally I don’t need a cart, but on my mission I picked up what must be a fifty-five pound box of Electrasol for the dishwasher and there was no way in hell I was gonna drag that around in one of those finger-ruining baskets.

What I found out is that Target doesn’t carry umbrellas in their store. One unhelpful trainee told me that they were in accessories, but they really weren’t. Perhaps they were on dryer days, but not today.

No matter, I was confident that I could at least get home and stop somewhere else.

Nope. I got back up to the top level (after waiting for the only working elevator) and found that not only had the rain started again but that it was pouring buckets and dang windy to boot. I waited for a few minutes, but this didn’t seem to be a passing thing and I didn’t want to look wussy like the other wussies that were standing there (though I think they were more clever and had sent their sig others to fetch the car) and I ran out into the rain with my cartful of purchases.

By the time I got there and put everything into the back and successfully stashed the cart, I was soaked. Like one of those photos of cats that have fallen into the bathtub.

But I came home happy that I’d at least gotten some good deals. For $100 I got all my household thingies (garbage bags, new toothbrush, toilet paper for every bathroom, hanging folders, new pencils, etc.), I also had in tow five new pairs of pants. There was some ridiculous clearance on chinos so I bought three pairs and two pairs of jeans. Now I don’t even have to finish the laundry today!

Jiminy Christmas, the sky is at it again. Where is all this water coming from?